i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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