She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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