yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
