2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i barfeds in our rink
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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