So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
