it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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