it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
