in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
