And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
