it hurts more in the daytime
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Randomize
