hotel room ftw
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
