why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize