plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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