Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
