this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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