Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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