and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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