SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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