I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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