i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
