At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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