I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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