Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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