I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
