I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
