We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
