woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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