her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i came on her dog
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
