so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
