why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
