She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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