we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
