i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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