the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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