from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
