Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
