i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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