how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
