Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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