You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
