Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
