shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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