is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
