so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
