I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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