You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
