I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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