He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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