Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
