You're my little dorito
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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