I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
