I feel great
I just peed on a car
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
