I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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