How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
