if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
