I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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