That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
