In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
