i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
