Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
