I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
