Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

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(714): View more from California

Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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(463): View more from

I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean

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(693): View more from

if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”

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