I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
